HELL HAS BEEN OUTLAWED
Hell? there's no such place any mo! It has been outlawed in Norway; and the Heaven of eternal happiness will soon be on the calendar for judgment. Then will the colloquy of Ike, the Communist, and Mike, the Catholic, on the existence of those places be repeated, viz:---"There's no Hell or hereafter," said Ike. "You're wrong," said Mike. Ike died, and Mike with his Mrs. attended the funeral. Mike burst out in laughter while viewing the remains. "Shame," said Mrs. Mike, "you must not laugh at a funeral." "I can't help it," Mike replied, "there's Ike all dressed up and no place to go to."
A "Hell-discussion" is said to have recently rocked the Land of the Midnight Sun. This was due to the "pietistic theologian," Prof. Ole C. Hallesby, having condemned the assumption of unbelievers, that there is no Hell, in one of his broadcasts. To this Bishop Kristan Schjelderup took exception, holding that belief in everlasting punishment is incompatible with love of God as taught by Christ. The Bishop was thereupon charged with being unfaithful to his ordination vows. There being a Union of church and state in Norway, or rather domination of the church by the state, such as can only be found in a Protestant country, the matter was presented to the Ministry of Ecclesiastical Affairs for adjudication, which functions in accordance with Article 2 of the Norway Constitution. Its decision was given in favor of the Bishop, hence there is no Hell any mo!
The Georgia Negro Evangelist, heard some years ago, was wiser than the supreme doctrinal determinator of the Protestant state church of Norway. After giving a vivid description of Hell, he shouted, "There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth in Hell, brethren and sisters."
"Glory be, that lets me out," cried an old woman in the front seat, "cause I ain't got no teeth."
"Teeth!" screamed the dusky preacher. "Teeth! Don't you believe that for a minute, Sister Jackson. Teeth is going to be furnished free of charge by the management."